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Don't "Should" On Me

Posted on Friday, April 11, 2008 by Registered CommenterLisa in | Comments3 Comments

"Little light on the posts this week, Lisa" This thought has entered and left my mind a number of times throughout the week. I have been crazy busy and without any time to stop, think, and process. What will it take to slow the train down?!  Well, 12 inches of wet, heavy spring snow seems to have done it, at least for a short while. The spring snow last night provided me with a little respite from the madness as I made my way through it to the gym and to work. I did this after taking my daughter's snow boots and snow pants out of the winter closet for the third time this season.

It should be rainy, not snowy in April. I should be able to pack away winter clothes in March. I should have learned by now. I should learn to use that four-wheel drive on my Pilot. Let's switch to the workplace. Employees should always tell the truth. Supervisors should be take responsibilities for their decisions and be accountable for their communications. The Union should understand Management's position. Everything HR related should make sense. Should, should, should, should should . . . . how's that working for you? Well, it's not working for me, although it should. Everyone should see things my way but they don't (darn!).

So, how do I facilitate a change in behavior without imposing my "shoulds" on others?

I am going to try a little experiment. I am going to remove "should" and its close neighbor "need to" from my vocabulary (yikes!). I am going to try to stop and think about the "should" situation in terms of solving a breakdown or increasing effectiveness and developing my communication from there.  How will that look? What will I say? I am not sure exactly but I am willing to give it a try.

If you don't "should" on me and I will try really, really, really hard not to "should" on you!

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Reader Comments (3)

"should" is my least favorite word in the english language.

seriously.

all the best!
deb
Friday, April 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdeb
Is this something we should do, would do, or could do?

What are the alternatives and options that address the conflict at hand?

After all, isn't all communications either trivial banality or directed at conflict resolution through increased shared understanding?

I don't know right now. I do know it is Sunday morning, the day beckons, and my typing here is done.

Be Well, Bob
Sunday, April 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRMSJr
Not saying "should" has been challenging and I have had to stop and think about another way to phrase or frame the issue. I am all about pictures and would love a conversational diagram to help me out until it becomes something I can do without much thought :)
Sunday, April 13, 2008 | Registered CommenterLisa

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