HR Thoughts

Good leaders worry about their people. Good leaders worry about their part in employee dilemmas. Good leaders lose sleep at night.

I don't know about you, but I hate conflicts at work. I, like the Chief Happiness Officer, have come to realize that conflicts are inevitable. The very best and most efficient workplaces are not the ones without conflict, he says, but those who handle conflicts constructively. For me, handling conflicts constructively = resolution. Now, how often does that work for you? Knowing that it doesn't work that way (it should, shouldn't it?) doesn't make sleep come any easier for me. 

So, what's a good leader to do?

Jean A. Hollands, the author of Red Ink Behaviors, offers this advice: good leaders will sleep well if they plant a seed. Good leaders will sleep well if they remember that they, too, are only human. Good leaders will sleep well if they do the best that they can; have their own support team; and appreciate their own courage. 

Good leaders want to make it right. Good leaders, even the best leaders, can't always do that. So, plant a seed. Have a good night sleep and come back at it in the morning. Or not.

If you are interviewing a Millennial and find your thoughts shifting away from the applicant and to yourself, specifically to concerns about your ability to manage a Millennial, read this post at Great Leadership. 

In particular listen up . . . being a good leader to Generation Y means being a good leader – period. When Millennials were asked, “How would you describe your dream boss”,  the responses were good management skills, pleasant and easy to get along with, understanding and caring, flexible and open-minded, respects/values/appreciates employees, good communication skills.

Still worried about your ability to effectively manage a Millennial? Stop that right now. Look at this as an opportunity for your growth and development and a chance to refine the tools in your tool box. Step outside your comfort zone.

The Millennials are coming to you - be not afraid. Oh, how much you (and your staff) will gain.

The difference between reading my Google Reader and not reading my Google Reader is learning. Bottom line: I don't learn if I don't read.

I'd like to call your attention to a few posts that I keep at arms length and acknowledge Team Building is For Suckers for adding a no-holds-barred 25 cent shot of caffeine to my day each and every time I read a post:

• Ask A Manager: But I'm qualified for that job, why did you reject me?
• The Career Encouragement Blog: HR referred me to the EAP - what does that mean?
• Compensation Force:  Please Strike the Word "Poor" From All Performance Management Materials
• The HR Capitalist:  What's the Difference Between An Employee Who "Meets" and One  Who "Exceeds"

Click through, they are well worth your read!

Find yourself ramming heads with another? Starting to simmer? Ready to set someone straight? It's showdown time!

I had a showdown once (ha!). Immediately afterward, I felt charged. I felt cleansed. I felt powerful.  I was feeling so good, I began to feel guilty. Why was I feeling so good? Oh no, did I cross a line to the other side?  Hmmm. The mind (well, my mind) is a funny thing.  I sought feedback on the interaction. Was I professional? Yes. Was I respectful? Yes. Ok, why did it feel so good? It felt good because I said what needed to be said, when it needed to be said.

When was your last showdown? Think about it. Were you pumped? Were you primed? Were you ready for the opportunity when it presented itself?  Were you like a bull in a china shop, breaking relationships as you move through the organization, or were you moving through with care?

Instead of looking for a confrontation, prepare for a carefrontation. A carefrontation is a fresh approach to conflict resolution developed by corporate coach Esther Jules and featured in the May 2008 issue of Oprah magazine. The three core steps to a carefrontation are:

• Prepare with care. Define the problem, separating the practical issues from the emotions they invoke.
• Offer an invitation to talk. There is no sure-fire opener but when offered the opportunity, "people are grateful, because they're floundering."
• Practice no-blame talking and listening. Be careful not to blame or accuse. My two cents? This is a not good time to "should" on the other person.

My showdown was awesome, long overdue and very, very cool (for me). Unfortunately, I changed the course of a relationship. I needed to have my voice heard and I could have done it better. I could have handled it with care.  Fortunately, I learn from my mistakes. 

If you find yourself in the midst of a showdown, stop and ask yourself one question: am I trying to win an argument or solve a problem? Then, let go of the argument and put your heads together to reach a common goal.

If April showers bring May flowers, what does an April snowstorm bring?

It is April 26, the ground turned white overnight, it is still snowing, the snow is blowing sideways and it was 75 degrees this past week. Run kid, run. Flip up your hood. Dodge the snowflakes. I am not unpacking the winter clothing again. 

A reader asks:

Any thoughts of how to address (departing) employee rants broadcast widely via email? Thanks

If the departure was of his or her choosing, thank your lucky stars for their assistance in ridding your company of the bad, bad employee. If the departure was because of you, pat yourself on the back.

The terms of the departure, time between disparaging email and departure date, the content of the e-mail, the position, role or influence of the employee in question are a few of the things to consider but I would tend to give it very little response or reaction. Employees are smart people and the good ones will see right through it and give the negative comments of a parting employee the weight they deserve - none.

Comments anyone? Agreeing and dissenting opinions both welcome!

I have a few books on my coffee table. Actually, they are not on my coffee table but they are sitting on a shelf in my entryway, staring me down, waiting to be read. I am looking forward to the day when I have not only a minute to breathe, but a few minutes to read. I am not lazy, I am not pregnant (congratulations Evil HR Lady!), life has just been very hectic.

I prefer not to mix work directly with blogging but if you are a Registered Nurse, Internal Medicine MD, Geriatrician, or a Psychiatrist, let's talk (so I can read.) Ha! Ha! Happy Friday to all!

I have an article sidebar as part of my mouse pad and I wanted to share this with you. It is titled, "What Makes a Mentor."

A good mentor . . .

• is someone absolutely credible whose integrity transcends the message, be it positive or negative;
• tells you things that you may not want to hear but leaves you feeling you have been heard;
• interacts with you in a way that makes you want to become better;
• makes you feel secure enough to take risks;
• gives you the confidence to rise above your inner doubts and fears;
• supports your attempts to set stretch goals for yourself; and
• presents opportunities and highlights challenges you might now have seen on your own.

Go hug a mentor today!

Unfortunately when I cut this out, I also cut off it's source. If you know (or are) the source, please comment so I can give credit where credit is due.

The toughest part of exercising is making the decison to do it. Working with a personal trainer makes it easier. Knowing that someone is waiting for me at the gym at 5:30 a.m. two days a week because I said I'd be there, seems to give me permission to take the time go. Permission to go? What's that all about . . . . generation, age, working mother guilt? Hmmmm. . . .

A reader writes:

I feel like the CEO of my company might be trying to force me out because he doesn't want to have an HR department that is "all black".  I am an HR Generalist in a two-person department.  About 5 weeks after I started this job, the HR Director transferred to another unit, leaving me the sole person supporting a 550-person organization. The CEO stalled on hiring an a new HR Director (who was peer interviewed by all the other directors who really liked him).  Before he finally offered him the position, he spoke to the VP of HR and said he thought it might be bad to have an HR department with only African-Americans in it.  (I suspect that if I were white--I'm not--and the new Director were white, he would not have any concerns.)

I asked his permission to bring on a temp to help cover the phones and file and was denied.  A week later, he said that he was tired of hearing complaints about my office being closed (not that I'm not there, but that I am doing my job elsewhere in the building).  I tried reminding him that I had asked for help, and was denied.  That same day, he emailed the former HR Director that I am "not happy" and that I am "not a good representative for HR" and that I needed to find work elsewhere.  I am assuming the former HR Director reminded him that one person supporting 500 people is preposterous and to give me a break.  So his solution (thankfully by email so I have proof) that his Administrative Assistant is my immediate supervisor and I am to call her anytime I am to leave my desk and tell her where I am going (presumably to include going to the bathroom).  I feel like this might fall under the area of constructive discharge, when I am forced to "report to" an admin assistant, when my job description requires that I use a great deal of judgment and decision-making in my job.  Not to mention the potential racial discrimination.  What do you think?

First off, 1 HR staff person to support 550 employees is unreasonable. Yes, even preposterous. That aside, I picture a tornado as I read this. I see a situation that gets worse and worse with each twisted communication. It is spinning out of control and it needs to be stopped - by you.  

There is clearly a lack of direct communication between you and the CEO.  Your information is coming to you third hand (and in the midst of some pretty strong emotions.) The CEO appears to be a real jerk, and maybe even a racially biased one at that, but I caution you against taking what you are hearing as facts and as the whole story. Before you react, I encourage you to seek out the rest of the story; there is always another side.

Where does the VP of HR fall into this? Does he/she report directly to the CEO? Is this a matrix organization? I am wondering who, absent an incumbent HR Director, would be in the best position to supervise you? Does that fall to the CEO? When the CEO used the word "supervisor" regarding his Administrative Assistant, was he addressing performance evaluations, etc. or someone who would know about your whereabouts? If there are complaints about your office being closed, it would help you, and your CEO, to have someone able to communicate your whereabouts, provide customers with information about when you are expected to return, and take messages for you. Maybe, just maybe, this can be to your advantage.

I encourage you to take a deep breathe, put the emotions aside (yes, easier said than done) and list out the the things that are driving you crazy. Ask yourself these questions: why is it irritating; for what business reason might the CEO be making the decisions he has made; what would you request be done differently; what are you willing to do differently; and how can you help the CEO and the business. If the first answer is, " because, I don't like it," or "because he doesn't like me," ask yourself again, and again, to get past initial gut reactions.

Constructive discharge? Maybe, maybe not and you owe it to yourself to seek out good, solid information. A face to face conversation really can make a difference and there are times when I sure wished I had spoken with a person much sooner than I did. More talking, less spinning.

Good people often find themselves in bad workplaces and you may have landed right in the middle of an impossible situation. It may very well be that this is not the place for you, for your own well-being. Let me know how it goes.

What do mountains of ice, helicopter flights, dog sled rides, crab baskets and white whales have in common? How do you describe native people to a seven year old? How do you help her get excited about something she has little to no reference for? Pictures, of course. So it was with that thought that we bought our daughter a travel guide with tons of pictures in preparation for our upcoming Alaskan cruise. Two months and 8 days until we sail to Glacier Bay.

Wow, the pictures are fabulous and there is nothing like it to help a 7 year old get her head around the concept of a mountain of ice.  She has a few special pages marked already: the Eskimo girl being tossed in the air (can I do that?); the Glacier Bar outside of Fairbanks where you can get a Coke (or Martini) in an ice glass while sitting on an ice stool at the ice bar; a grizzly bear holding a salmon, and a restaurant with a sign out front that reads, "cheap beer, lousy food." Hmmm, sounds promising little girl! Looking through the guide lately has provided me with the break I need at the end of the day.

Some days though, the pages of a guide book would just not be enough. Some days, I need a lot more. How do I know? " Woe is me" is my signal to myself that I have gone passed the point of a little stressed.  It shares the stage with, "am I the only competent person in the place?" Both thoughts are warning signs that it is time for me to think before I speak, assess before I react, review messages before I hit the send button and maybe even consider if everyone would be better served if I just turned my car around and went home instead of coming into work.

Did I always know this? No, but time, experience and lots of coaching have taught me well. A quick trip to Glacier Bay may not always be feasible but a day off, a walk around the building, venting with a trusted colleague or a emergency phone call to a mentor or coach may very well be.

While I encourage you to think about what will reenergize you, I offer that you may be better served by first taking one step back and asking yourself the question, "how do I know when I need a break?" and then taking the time to consider what you discover. There are so many things that happen around us that we cannot control. We can control how we take care of ourselves.

Hey, if cheap beer and lousy food will help the cause, you  may seek me out!

"Little light on the posts this week, Lisa" This thought has entered and left my mind a number of times throughout the week. I have been crazy busy and without any time to stop, think, and process. What will it take to slow the train down?!  Well, 12 inches of wet, heavy spring snow seems to have done it, at least for a short while. The spring snow last night provided me with a little respite from the madness as I made my way through it to the gym and to work. I did this after taking my daughter's snow boots and snow pants out of the winter closet for the third time this season.

It should be rainy, not snowy in April. I should be able to pack away winter clothes in March. I should have learned by now. I should learn to use that four-wheel drive on my Pilot. Let's switch to the workplace. Employees should always tell the truth. Supervisors should be take responsibilities for their decisions and be accountable for their communications. The Union should understand Management's position. Everything HR related should make sense. Should, should, should, should should . . . . how's that working for you? Well, it's not working for me, although it should. Everyone should see things my way but they don't (darn!).

So, how do I facilitate a change in behavior without imposing my "shoulds" on others?

I am going to try a little experiment. I am going to remove "should" and its close neighbor "need to" from my vocabulary (yikes!). I am going to try to stop and think about the "should" situation in terms of solving a breakdown or increasing effectiveness and developing my communication from there.  How will that look? What will I say? I am not sure exactly but I am willing to give it a try.

If you don't "should" on me and I will try really, really, really hard not to "should" on you!

The HR Carnival is up at Fortify Your Oasis. It just keeps getting bigger and bigger!

I had a meeting today (just one? HA!). I left the meeting frustrated.

I went into the meeting thinking the questions were going to be technical but they were "philosophical." Now, I love to discuss and debate managerial approaches to issues, however; this was a larger group and not all members were responsible for developing or articulating the philosophy. Not the best forum.  Lessons learned, but still a little frustrated. There was more. 

It took a little pondering to get to the bottom of it and it came down to one thing for me - a lack of connection. I didn't feel a connection with the group. Was it the topic, the group size, the group members, everything to do with me, or nothing to do with me? Connection is important to me.

Connection can also be a source of competitive advantage and I had not thought of connection from that perspective. Have you? Well, Michael Lee Stallard did and addressed it in his manifesto, The Connection Culture: A New Source of Competitive Advantage.

"Connection is the key. It makes a difference in families, in workplaces, in schools, in volunteer organizations, in communities, and in nations. No one can thrive for long without it."  He may be on to something!

The Career Encourager has challenged me to compose a memoir of just 6 words. My life in just 6 little words?  Ok, I am up for the challenge!

 Family

Connection

Growth

Regrets

Strength

Tuscan-sun

Interested in "tagging along?" If so, consider yourself tagged. Now, :

1. Write your own memoirs
2. Post them on your blog, including an illustration if you’d like
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to the original post
4. Tag five more blogs with links
5. Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

Supervisory 101: recognize the good things your employees do. I recognize the members of my department. I go home every night knowing that I have a super staff.  I have an awesome staff. I know it and they know it too.

Or do they? Sure, I may not always get awards written up and submitted each quarter but at the end of the year, I make up for lost time.  In meetings I acknowledge the output of the department, the work that is done each and everyday and thank people individually for their achievements.  I am often blown away by the initiative and engagement I see. "Great job," I think (and say as I remember and have the time) and consider it exactly that - a part of their job. In most cases, I do not follow up with further recognition.  

Well, over the past 45 days I have been. I have been looking for examples of outstanding customer service by each individual, not by the collective department. I have been presenting each individual with a "WOW" pin for "Working on Wonderful." Now, before you start thinking I am simply wonderful myself, you have to know that this campaign was the result of our Work Life Improvement Committee and I was doing it because all supervisors were required to. I went into this a little bucky because I felt recognition was alive and well in my department and that this campaign would seem a little contrived. Well, I realized that neither was true.

I realized that I was not putting much time and effort into recognition. I realized that I was not seeing the individual contributions of each staff member. I realized that I was not looking. I realized that a little effort goes a long way.  I realized that each employee gained from focused, specific, timely recognition

I realized that I gained more.

I am often the one to say, "This is not a social service agency. You need to do the job you were hired to do." Beneath it all, I do what I can to make things work for the employee and the agency and to do what's right.

I just finished up a telephone conversation with an HR staff member at another site. There is an issue. The rules say there is no way at this point to provide a desired benefit to an employee. I called Washington DC and they are willing to work with us. Woo-hoo.

Can you imagine my surprise when, after sharing that with the other HR staff member, she was less than enthusiastic and responded, "Rules are rules and it is not about taking care of the person."

To her boss and my peer I go . . . .

Supervision can be both a wonderful and a thankless job.

Probably one of the most challenging parts is addressing employee performance and/or conduct issues. It is going to happen. Be it a discussion with an employee about the volume and/or frequency of his cell phone, telling an employee she has body odor; addressing internet misuse; or critiquing a wonderfully bad presentation, it is going to happen.

When employee performance and/or conduct issues do occur, take a tool from your toolbox and address them head on. Some supervisors use the same tool every time, the hammer. The pitfalls of always using the hammer are obvious to most. Either by leadership style or by conscious choice, supervisors can swing the pendulum the other way and, in the interest of preserving feelings, maintaining relationships or identifying learning opportunities, they reach past the hammer and grab a brush.

The brush is soft and gentle and it hurts less than a hammer.  When meeting with an employee to discuss performance and/or conduct issues, the message should be that the performance or conduct does not meet expectations/standards. Delivering this message is uncomfortable for all involved. And, this is the message that must be delivered.  

Supervisory caution: do not soften the issue or concern so much that the message is lost. 

Employee performance and/or conduct issues can be addressed head on with compassion and respect. Wouldn't you want the same from your supervisor?

The HR Capitalist has a new gig as the editor/point guard of a new blog that covers "all things talent." Check out Fistful of Talent and let Kris know what you think. From first look, he has hit this one right out of the park!

The HR Carnival is up at Three Star Leadership. Great posts, fun tips and a few new blogs to read. Check it out!